On this date in 2008, the United States of America, after of decades of listening, finally grew tired of hearing about exactly where you were on 9/11 -- officially acknowledging that yes, you did tell us about how you had just dropped the kids off at school and were going through the bills when your friend Marsha called and told you that you had better turn on the TV quick. And how at first you thought it was a little Cessna or something, but then when you heard it was a 737, you thought "wow, that's so sad." But then you saw the second plane hit (on TV, but it still counts), and you knew it had to be terrorists or something. So you called your friend Amy in Albany to make sure she was okay, because Albany is really close to New York, and thank God, she was.
The country also asked that you no longer go into painful detail in describing exactly where you were when you learned that Michael Jackson died, that Jon and Kate were getting divorced, and that Ellen DeGeneres was doing Portia de Rossi.
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